When anxiety rears its ugly head.

It's been just over 10 years since anxiety and panic became and unwelcome part of my life. After some counseling and educating myself about my new "friends", I managed to find ways to cope and even discover some triggers that can be easily worked around.

But unfortunately there are times when being stressed unleashes an abnormal amount of anxiety that leaves me feeling edgy. That, my friends, was my February. I did what I could to mellow out, but there were still more days than not that I didn't feel like myself. If only I had a good answer to those who ask if there is anything they can do. Seeing that none of my friends are genies, I will gladly continue to accept their open ears and arms.

It seems like this time of year is always harder... seasonal affective disorder anyone? Can't just be a coincidence that my first panic attacked happened during February. Maybe I should start to consider a Southern getaway each February. Anyway, combine this silliness with too many abnormally stressful work days as of late and you get an anxiety-ridden Jane ready to flip into a panic attack at the drop of a hat. Yep, not exactly my idea of a fun time.

After a super rocky start to March... I know, only two days in... I'm still quite hopeful that feeling like myself again will be just around the corner. There is no logical reason for me to feel panicky during a simply meeting at work or while chit-chatting with friends(more like sisters). The kicker was today... when I couldn't even have lunch with myself. There wasn't a known trigger in sight, just my silly brain misfiring some flight or fight messages. Why couldn't I just relax and people watch during lunch?

Looking back to earlier today, I gotta admit that picturing myself dashing through Metro Center's parking lot trying to eat my Jimmy John's sandwich without losing any lettuce is fairly amusing. Had I given in to the illogical message and taken flight, then I guess some people would have had an amusing story to tell their family.

More than anything, I'm thankful I have close friends and family I can talk to about this because it would only stress me out more to think I was alone. By sharing this blog entry, I'm hoping to release some stress and bring some peace and calmness to what has become a very tired and rundown brain. I need the days of cracking myself up to start outnumbering the quiet days.